"Being assertive is to express your thoughts feelings and needs in an honest and direct way." 

Dan Trepanier

Mentor Coach, Survey - Let's Chat About YOUR Romantic Assertiveness

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person. It’s learning to love the person you found.

A friend sent me this post via Facebook (original author unknown), and I just had to share it with you.

How do I know if I am in a relationship with the right partner?

(Author Unknown) “When I was still a boy,” a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?” 

The author then noticed that a large man was sitting next to her, so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered, “How do you know?”

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind, replied the author. Here’s the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love wasn’t hard. It was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept off my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were standing there, doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. 

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades.

It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies drive you nuts. 

This stage’s symptoms vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. 

You and your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. 

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY, you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): 

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person it’s learning to love the person you found

  • You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM.
  • You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Could you make no mistake about it? Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner); just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
  • Love is, therefore, a “decision.” Not just a feeling. Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!

Why some revolutionary gay relationship advice isn’t that.

Gay men have their own “mood” when it comes to language. I call it the “gay imperative mood.” It would be best to listen to the gay speaking lest you be on the receiving end of some nasty shade should you not.

Where are YOU in your relationship, CYCLE?